November 2012
1 post
Nobody knows what a troll is anymore.
I’ve been seeing a lot of this shit in recent years, so much of it in fact, that I cringe at the thought of even going on forums or message boards. It’s these fucking kids that call themselves trolls because somebody responded to their rude and grammatically incorrect post. That doesn’t make you a troll. It makes you twelve. For those who somehow don’t know, an internet...
April 2012
2 posts
The FCC is your fault.
The FCC is that lovely little organization born of the government’s hatred and fear of the Constitution’s First Amendment. Consisting of five members (currently three) the FCC gets to decide what you are old enough to hear and see on radio and television. This institution contains appointed, not elected officials, that have the power to decide for us what is appropriate. I think...
There is no big mystery to raising kids.
Obviously this isn’t coming from any personal experience regarding child rearing. I’m twenty years old and like to think I’m fairly aware of the poor quality of my fatherly abilities. In other words I have none, which is why I don’t make stolid, reckless decisions to impregnate women. I’m a stranger to motherhood or fatherhood, but my decision to remain out of that...
March 2012
2 posts
When will the sleeping giant awake?
The modern world is no longer an infant in our history. Looking at the clock of the past, modernity has not yet even reached minute one. Such a simplistic view sheds no light on the strife recent humans have endured, and therefore is an inadequate gauge of progress. In terms of political, economic, social, moral, technological, religious, militaristic and exploratory endeavors, we’ve...
Keep your dirty religious literature to yourself.
Without fail, every time I go to the grocery store I find “Mini-Bibles” littering the ground and occupying space in trash cans. I really began to notice this shit when I worked at Pick n Save (a grocery store for those of you who don’t live in the Midwest) when I had to empty the garbage cans outside. One day I noticed this little white book sitting on top of the garbage can...
February 2012
4 posts
Japan sucks and so do you.
Go ahead and enjoy Japanese/Asian culture and Anime all you want. No, don’t even do it because I’m giving you permission. Do it because it’s your human right to choose what you’re interested in. That’s where my humanitarianism ends, because I’m sick of seeing weeaboo faggots self-labeling themselves “Otaku”.
For the loser weeaboos reading this, I...
Lent is retarded.
I’ll even take a break from my usual abrasive Atheist attitude for [most of] this article, because my problems with Lent aren’t religious. They’re realistic issues, and problems I have with it’s practicality (of which there is none.) I would like to clarify that when I say “God” I’m simply referring to the idea of a god. I’ve carved it in stone that...
People who use bullshit statistics and...
During every argument, chances are good that someone will throw out a silly misleading statistic or spout nonsense in the form of what they call “logic”. Note that by me saying “chances are good” I’m not spitting fraudulent statistics. So before you crawl up my ass for being a hypocrite, understand that me saying “chances are good” just implies that...
Having a fake ID doesn't make you cool.
And people aren’t jealous of you because you have one. Jamming it down our throats that you’re 17 and going to bars isn’t the way to get people to think you’re cool, and is at the same level as taking half-nude pictures of your trainwreck body and shoving them on Facebook. The last thing I want to see when I log in is the bulbous carapace of a skanky high school sea-cow....
January 2012
1 post
5 tags
If it's nobody's business, then why is it your...
It’s not my fault that I set my Facebook status to something personal and retarded! An intergalactic race of space-worms infested my house, and took me hostage. After twenty minutes of aerating the soil in my potted plants they began to bore through my ear canals. They wriggled through to my brain and settled in my neocortex. They then fused their brain matter with my neurons in order to...
December 2011
5 posts
5 tags
Craigslist Incompetence
I spend a lot of time on Craigslist trying to make a quick buck off of shit I have but never use. Coincidentally, I spend about an equal amount of time perusing Craigslist and buying shit that eventually ends up laying around my house. It’s a vicious circle (cycle). The majority of the time I spend on Craigslist is in the cars+trucks and motorcycles sections. Over the years I’ve seen...
Stop pretending to give a shit.
I’m sure everyone has seen those dumb bumper stickers on the back of peoples cars that say “COEXIST”, cleverly made out of various religious and pacifist symbols. They’re usually smack dab on the back of shitty rust-bucket cars, most of the time accompanied by various vegetarian themed stickers. If I threw up every time I was driving and saw a car with that dumb bumper...
Complaints Email Address
Send me your tears!
Complaint Email address is up and running. I don’t have comments enabled because I don’t want my page tarted up with everybody else vomiting their dumb opinions. To reiterate, I have commenting disabled because this isn’t a debate forum. It’s a blog. I write for myself, not for other people. I only write about things I care about.
If your complaints...
Keep it in the pants NASA.
I read an article today about BOAP (Barack Obama’s Aeronautics Purgatory), formerly known as NASA. Scientists have discovered an Earth-like planet kickin’ it in the Kepler system. It has conditions suitable for life (though this is doubtful considering the planets size and similar composition to Neptune) and is an appropriate distance from it’s star for life to form. Yes, life...
Gay. The most offensive word ever.
I remember a comedy routine by Dane Cook where he spoke of a commercial featuring none other than Hilary Duff. As swiftly as a herpes outbreak she appeared to cry to a group of girls that it’s not okay to use the word “gay” to describe something that looks shitty. I’ll only touch base with you on my feelings about Hilary. Dane Cook already did an adequate job describing...
November 2011
2 posts
9 tags
You're Not a News Reporter
When I see a piece of writing or a news report with a clear intent to dissuade someone from a specific behavior. An immensely potent characteristic I notice is asking metaphorical and quite obviously loaded questions. Certain questions that are based on reader opinion. What better way to sound credible than to ask an audience a question they can’t respond to? And then answer it themselves!...
Stupid Bullshit All Girls Say
Here is a list of idiotic things all women are guilty of muttering one time or another. They are empty words and phrases with no real meaning or credibility.
“I don’t know what I want in life.”
Translation - “I have a good idea of what I want from my life, but it doesn’t involve you. By saying it this way, I can keep you guessing and gratify my own cowardice at the...
October 2011
1 post
4 tags
