Having a fake ID doesn’t make you cool.
And people aren’t jealous of you because you have one. Jamming it down our throats that you’re 17 and going to bars isn’t the way to get people to think you’re cool, and is at the same level as taking half-nude pictures of your trainwreck body and shoving them on Facebook. The last thing I want to see when I log in is the bulbous carapace of a skanky high school sea-cow. One day you’ll realize that popularity in high school doesn’t actually carry over to your life out of school. But that doesn’t stop you does it?! Because I see kids (I use the term “kids” since a person who is 20 and can’t handle the fact that they aren’t old enough to participate in a single activity, isn’t an adult) older than me skittering around with their silly little fakes, spending all the pocket change they made at their dead end job as a cashier. It’s almost as if you don’t realize that your future as an alcoholic broke bastard will be waiting for you when you turn 21. The only difference then will be that you’ll have a few less Federal document forgery charges to complement your new toilet hugging lifestyle. Anyone who can’t wait a couple of years to drink at a bar should probably save themselves the slow agonizing death of liver cancer and divorce by shoving a beehive into their ass post-haste.
Another behavior these kids have in common with Downs Syndrome patients is that they insist on polluting conversations by bringing up their cute little fake IDs numerous times. There’s also always at least one lame-ass story of their trip to the local dive bar, inhabited by the neighborhood child molester and the neighborhood deadbeat dad. Congratulations! You made it into a bar that has such poor business that they’d have allowed you in even if you looked five. Nice job! Now go back to school and get a job with health benefits.