Keep your dirty religious literature to yourself.
Without fail, every time I go to the grocery store I find “Mini-Bibles” littering the ground and occupying space in trash cans. I really began to notice this shit when I worked at Pick n Save (a grocery store for those of you who don’t live in the Midwest) when I had to empty the garbage cans outside. One day I noticed this little white book sitting on top of the garbage can which read “Pocket New Testament” so I threw it in the garbage and went on with my day. The next day I saw another one of these little books, and thought it was a book of matches. Upon closer inspection it was another Bible. So I threw it away, and once again went on with my day. On the third day I saw another bible on top of the same garbage can, so I threw it away out of spite. Again and again I would find these little bastards all over my store, and I wondered what kind of person would be trying to ruin my clean floors with this trash. I took it as my sworn duty to keep my store clean, and for this I was rewarded with $7.35 every hour in addition to a 15 minute leisure period.
The day came where I confronted the man who was tarnishing my floors and filling my garbage cans to capacity with their fictitious literature. I had done my daily sweep of the area, tending to the garbage cans that needed emptying. I was throwing out the matchbook style bibles I found, when a middle aged overweight man approached me and yelled at me for doing so. His double chins expanded and contracted as he told me that he likes to lay these out for people in order to “spread the word of God”. To which I responded that we can’t have religious literature in our store. He became angry and belligerent so I had no choice but to summon my manager, who promptly removed him from the store. For the time succeeding the self appointed reverend’s ejaculation from the store, my garbage can lids remained free of matchbook pocket bibles, with the exception of a few occasions around Easter time. Though I no longer work in the food retail business I offer my service, as a guardian angel of stores. I dispose of any religious readings I find tainting up the lobbies and floors of other people’s facilities.
I never properly understood the motivation for people dumping this trash on everyone. I certainly don’t shit my Atheist beliefs onto everyone’s face and ears, so I don’t see what makes these Theist assholes think that their message wants to be heard any more than mine. Church is Church for a reason; so people can go of their own free will. Believe me overweight wannabe-priest man at Pick n Save. If we want to go to Church, we will. And if we want to believe, we will. The responsibility of converting the world to your bullshit beliefs cannot simply fall on your shoulders alone. Just leave it be, because all you serve to do with this is make the Atheists and Agnostics more adamant in their positions of disbelief.